And the buckets placed sporadically outside, catching rain water, can easily be turned upside down in order to be stood upon when reaches are too great for arms. And the cats meow ironically sounds like your clock radio. That same clock radio that so often inconsiderately wakes you from a slumber deeper than the depths of hell. And when you hit snooze you feel as if time has stopped. And when you lose your place in your dream, life no longer works like the lights in your room that when turned on stay off. And the window opens up outside to one of those buckets collecting water used to wash whatever happens to be dirty. Today it’s the flowers laying in beds of mud. Wilting away from excessive torture from this and that. yesterday it was the front walk, dusted dirty by trampling feet and wind blown erosion. But still before all this is done, first things first. Snooze goes off on the treacherous clock and again you think about slamming the button so hard the numbers fall back, but you don’t. your dream is done and reality has lit up thanks to the blazing sun. get up and out of bed for only depression could keep you down and we want, more than anything, to not show that part of life.

But when I woke up I remembered that the only reason we were in this life was cause my dream. And I was nervous that the boxes sitting around the room would take form creating a vicious atmosphere that’s not safe for a fish in a tank. But luckily the world I’m present in is simply made up while my real reality is an emphasis on my imagination where I can take hold of the sun and turn it upside down when I want night to cover the sky. But my only problem with that is the sense of being doesn’t always arrive in the nick of time like it does in fairy tales of kings and queens. And you try to tell me that its ok for me to live like this but what no one gets is that I cant live not knowing a single person inside out and outside in. for made up characters are always fine and peachy except when they start talking back. but I suppose when you start hearing voices from those that reside in imagination you can remove yourself from responsibilities and what not. For more than likely you will be in a home with walls covered in padding and doors of white. And its then that people will start to believe that they couldn’t believe you for when you said you were ok it wasn’t actually you speaking. and when you said nothing was wrong, well, that was simply a lie. But then I turn over and I realize that while im still laying in my bed and you’re still questioning my existence in a world filled with a lack of emotion from every third person I cant stop staring at the crack between the door and its frame. And I wonder how something so restricting can have slips that can let in ghosts that float around spooking those small children we have yet to abandon. and that’s when I blurt out what, in a voice unfamiliar to myself and you turn and stare at me as if im a stranger from a strange land laying in bed with you. what? You ask and I turn a cherry shade of red for it wasn’t you saying anything but the people from my real world of hims and hers that, well, I’ve never really met, cause, well, they aren’t really alive. And you ask what again and I say only in my dreams does reality become real and only in life do my dreams come true. And although it makes very little sense to you and me both I know that you turn over and fall asleep cause that’s who you are and this is who I am. So I continue to look and count and reach for the items that surround me in the room I call home. But then it strikes me that im not really sure who I’m talking too because as I lay my arm onto your side of the bed….all I feel is the coolness of an empty sheet. And the space where nothing has been for a long while.

What I wanted, was a six foot pole in a summer rain storm. Or maybe just a leaf falling 100 feet south of a pine tree top. Dear friend, yell at me, scream at me when I’m wrong.

Once we sat in a car and got high – we were in a parking lot in the middle of perfection. I thought we were invisible.

Later, I slept walked to the river bend. You left your knife under your pillow so when you woke me, asking to help save them, I wasn’t in any danger. All I wanted was for you to reciprocate my feelings. Key word: wanted. I say honesty and your thesaurus mouth replies I live in fiction, exaggeration, deception. We took the same turn onto two different roads. Now we can’t stay here.

My wish is – I see now. That water and fire can’t mix.

be honest with yourself